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Poems in Honor or in Memory of Loved Ones


Do You See What I See?

I am surprised by how many people have asked me if I am “feeling better“ since the loss of my daughter 9 months ago. Several people have misunderstood the smile on my face as relief from my sadness. I even had one woman tell me that she was happy for me that I finally am able to find refreshment after caring for my handicapped child for so many years. I was angry.

People have watched me for such a long time; they know my story, they think they know me, but I want to ask those people: “do you really see me?”

Do you see me as I wake up from a sound sleep; barely able to focus on my surroundings; keeping my eyes trained on my feet as they dangle above the floor. Do you see the determination on my face as I put those feet down and will them to move forward into my day.

Do you see me walking to the bathroom, catching little glimpses of portraits scattered on my walls, trying not to let my eyes linger for too long, because allowing myself that luxury will undo everything I have just worked hard to do in the last 5 minutes of my wakefulness.

Do you see me standing in my shower, letting the water hit my face, beat on my skin, and wondering if I can tell the difference between the drops of water from the faucet, and the salty drops that fall from my eyes.

Do you see me eating my breakfast in silence—remembering moments when there was precious noise all around me. Asking God to be with me throughout my day, and to have His hand on me to give me strength to do the things I need to do that day.

Do you see me on the highway; with all the cars zipping past in their hurried oblivion? Wondering if the occupants can read my face and know that I am remembering my daughter’s last breath. Playing the scene over and over again in my head, wishing I could get out of the car and chase the memories away.

Do you see me at work? Do you see the smile on my face? Do you see behind my eyes into my heart and know that every little girl who comes into the store, regardless of the color of her hair, or her skin, or her eyes, reminds me of my child and makes me long for even one more second with her.

Do you see me at the grocery store, walking past the floral department and catching the scent of fresh flowers; do you see me wince in pain as I recall the fragrant aroma that engulfed our family while we stood beside my little ones casket. Do you know that I will never again be able to smell lillies without thinking of death?

Do you see me sitting in the stands at my older children’s soccer game, watching intently and with great pride as my girls run around passionately fighting for the ball, do you hear me cheering for them, loudly and excitedly, but then hear a catch in my voice as a butterfly floats by me onto the field, and I wonder if God has sent me a little reminder that He knows that while I am enjoying the others, I am missing the one.

Do you see me sitting down at the dinner table noticing that there is an empty chair there? Do you see me chatting with my family about my day, and in turn listening to them share about theirs, and then secretly wonder what my sweet angel has done in heaven all afternoon.

Do you see me slow down at the end of my day; exhausted from the emotional and physical drain of walking through life pretending to be “fine”, of fighting the tears in public places, and diligently keeping my grief at bay so that I don’t make others uncomfortable.

Do you see me walking past the empty bedroom where all of my daughters favorite things are kept? Do you see me pause at the door and look at her stuffed animals, remembering the joy of seeing her snuggle them as she lay safely sleeping in her bed.

Do you see me lay my head on my pillow at night and pull the red and blue flannel “Elmo” pillow tightly to my chest as I allow the tears to come and rock me to sleep?

I admit, it’s hard to look at me—but maybe if people allowed themselves a peak, just for a minute, they may understand that caring for my handicapped child was a privilege that I cherished. That caring for her in her helpless state was a blessing that was so much easier than missing her now. It might make them realize that life is short, love is precious, and that there is a difference between the important and the urgent.

If they truly saw me they would consider their faith and what difference it makes in their life. They would investigate what they believe about Gods promise of eternal life for all who believe, and run hard after it.

If they saw me they would know that I am not interested in feeling better, but in learning how to live better.

* This post is for all those other moms out there who are missing their children every minute of the day, but haven’t had the opportunity to explain to their friends what that looks like.

- provided by Lorna Tyrell from her Blog

 


"The Strength of an Egg"

Parents of terminally ill children, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength “like a rock.” Although flattering, it isn’t quite true. It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes, an egg. If you think about an egg, you will see the point I make.

An egg has a polished smooth outer appearance with no cracks or weak spots …visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be as smooth and solid as the outside. Most children, at some point in their lifetime, are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet that same egg, tapped gently at an even slightly different angle will break. The contents, once so…neatly concealed inside, will come spilling out, and the no longer perfect shell will be crushed. Then the shell looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.

That is where parents of sick children are more like eggs than rocks. A rock is solid all the way through. If you tried to break a rock, it would be almost impossible. If successful, one would find that there was nothing inside but more rock. It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. These parents are not solid all the way through. They hurt, they fear, they cry, they hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered.

Balancing an egg while running a household, going for doctor visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed. Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence. Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with a serious condition will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again.

 - provided by Shannon Laffoon from her website.

[Nov 19, 2012 blg]


 

2012 Family Conference Commemorative Poem

I see you there,
in my empty room
searching for me,
wanting to hold me one last time.

  I watch you cry
holding my clothes
smelling the scent I left behind
wishing for something, anything to bring me back.

I am right here,
where I will always be,
where I have always been.  

I am inside your heart,
our souls intertwined,
guiding you, keeping you,
and reminding you of the beauty all around.  

I am the early morning light
and the brilliance of the sunset.

I am the moonlight and the gentle glow of candlelight
reminding you that even the darkest night holds hope.

I am the cool fall breeze
and the sweet birdsong of spring
telling you to live in the moment
and love every day.

I am the rainbow after the storm
and desert flowers in bloom,
showing you that there is always promise,
and always grace.

I am right here,
where I will always be,
where I have always been.  

Time is an invention,
and death is an illusion.
Life is a journey that cannot be measured
in miles, steps or years.  

I am not gone,
only changed,
running and playing,
laughing in the wind.  

I know how you held me,
cried for me, loved me.
I did not leave you,
I came for you.

  I am right here,
where I will always be,
where I have always been,
inside your heart.

Written in memory of:  Wylder James Laffoon

[Oct 15, 2012 blg]


 

I'm There Inside Your Heart

Right now I'm in a different place,
And though we seem apart,
I'm closer than I ever was...
I'm there inside your heart.

I'm with you when you greet each day
And while the sun shines bright,
I'm there to share the sunsets, too...
I'm with you every night.

I'm with you when the times are good,
To share a laugh or two
And if a tear should start to fall...
I'm always there for you.

And when that day arrives
That we no longer are apart,
I'll smile and hold you close to me...

FOREVER in my Heart.

Abbey Press

[Nov 28, 2011 mem]


From the book "On the Night You Were Born" by Nancy Tillman
in honor of Wylder Laffoon, from his parents, Steven and Shannon Laffoon

On the night you were born,
the moon shone with such wonder
that the stars peeked in
to see you
and the night wind whispered,
‘Life will never be the same.’ Because there had never been
anyone like you�?br /> ever in the world. �?
Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn
on the wonderful marvelous night you were born

[July 12, 2011 mem]


The Amazing Kid Ty Poem!
Written by Dakhota Gray in Honor of Ty Quandt (NPC)
October 15, 2010

(Supported by School of the Arts, Tacoma, Washington)

Ty is a kid with a very Umbrage Disease
He likes dragons and Lord of the Rings
We can help him find a cure that he can be better
He is a very brave, intelligent, good kid
A kid that can do anything he sets his mind to
Oh SOTA can you help him
His mom is the best Nurse here at this school
A journey of a cure will soon be done
Hatred and Anger are now driving away

A Time for a perfect cure must start now
Ty’s brain is malfunctioning hard now
Months and the climates are changing let him watch
He has many favorite Holidays
What an amazing kid you are
When your bad times are here, they can be erased
A kid with dreams will come true

A kid with a disease who likes movies and dragons
A cure is being made let us honor this kid today
Fantasy is his favorite topic oh yeah
He’s so great let’s let him in our family
Come on now He’s a kid that can be cured
A kid with amazing Abilites and powers will save the world
Ty the Amazing grateful kid

[Feb 9, 2011 mem]


In Loving Memory of Aaditya Michael Dasgupta (NPC) (2/15/01 - 8/12/10)

Once in a million years
Comes an angel among us
His presence brings
Such sweet tears
His soul touches our hearts
And his kind and innocent eyes
Chase away all fears
Only once in a million years does God create
One that brings us closer to Him
And opens eternal Heaven's Gates
I have been touched by such an angel
His presence brings such tears
He is a gift to us from sweet Jesus and
May he be blessed by eternal life
May Jesus lift him to his Throne of Grace and Mercy
May he be surrounded by angels
May he feel no pain
No grief
No loneliness
And may he walk the stairs of Heaven

[Aug 23, 2010 mem]


I'm Free
In Loving Memory of Christopher Lee Fox (NPB) (11/27/87 - 9/25/09)

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free.
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard him call.
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day.
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that place at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.
Ah yes, these things I, too, will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much.
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seems all too brief.
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me.
God wanted me now.  He set me free.

[Aug 17, 2010 mem]


In Loving Memory of Erin Arline Roberts (NPC)  (4/5/80 - 12/1/04)
by Heather Kelly, Erin's aunt and Godmother

To our Angel, Erin Arline, we miss you so much, your smile, your special look, your gentle touch
light blue eyes that looked right into your soul
seemed to say, "I love you but Heaven is my goal."

An Angel, given to us by God, this we always knew
a gift from our Savior given to so few  
How fortunate we were to have had your love
sent to us right from Heaven above

To have you in our lives has taught us more than
we can now see
Given time and reflection this will all come to be

The gift of love and faith you continuously gave
will forever live on and this we will always save

Thank you God and thank you Erin for giving us so much love
We truly know this was given to us from you, from Heaven above

Erin Roberts
Erin Arline Roberts

[July 26, 2010 mem]


In Loving Memory
of
Caroline Jeanne Kirk (NPB) 9/7/98 -10/30/07


THE SITTING TIME
by Joe Digman

Don’t listen to the foolish unbelievers
who say forget.
Take up your armful of roses and
remember them
the flower and the fragrance.
When you go home to do your sitting 
in the corner by the clock 
and sip your rosethorn tea
It will warm your face and fingers
and burn the bottom of your belly.
But as her gone-ness piles in white,
crystal drifts,
It will be the blossom of her moment
the warmth on your belly,
the tiny fingers unfolding,
the new face you’ve always known,
That has changed you.
Take her moment, and hold it
As every mother does.
She will always be
your daughter
And when the sitting is done you’ll find
bitter grief could never poison
the sweetness of her time.

                      

[Oct 16, 2009 mem]


In Loving Memory of Twins
Eugene Dixon (NPA) 1/4/73 - 1/19/77
and
Maxine Dixon (NPA) 1/4/73 - 5/3/76

Remember me
Because today I am free
I am no longer sick or ill
I am free

Remember me
I hope I touched your hearts
And though we are now far apart
Please remember me

I fought as hard as I could
But knew I could not win
And the day came I had to give in

If you could see me now
I am free
I can run, I can laugh
I can dance, I can sing

My wings are filled with glitter
My legs run so fast
I hold you all in my heart
Don't cry for me
I am free

We will meet again
And until we do
Please remember me!!

Submitted by John and Geniel Dixon in memory of their beloved children.

[Aug 6, 2009 mem]


In Loving Memory of
Jeffrey Dean Baker (NPC)
April 5, 1964 - October 21, 2008

I'd like the memory of me
to be a happy one,
I'd like to leave an afterglow
of smiles when life is done.
I'd like to leave an echo
whispering softly down the ways,
of happy times and laughing times
and bright and sunny days.
I'd like the tears of those who grieve,
to dry before the sun.
Of happy memories that I leave
when life is done.

[July 14, 2009 mem]


A Prayer for One Who Grieves
(received with the gift of a special shawl)

As you move through these long days, may you be blessed through the
Wearing of this shawl, and carried by God who loves you so much.
May those around you comfort you - may their love soothe your broken heart,
May their care ease your pain, may their steadfast presence remind you that
In your grief and in your loss you do not mourn alone.
May your tears be healing, may your aching heart be eased by the solace of our God,
and may the waves of pain be stilled by the prayers of those who love you.
May you gently wrap this shawl around you, may you be surrounded by its love,
enfolded by its prayer, embraced by its warmth, and cradled in the womb of its softness.
Amen

Submitted by Karen Quandt

[April 14, 2009 mem]


To All Parents
by Edgar Guest

"I'll lend you a little time a child of mine," He said.
"For you to love the while he lives and mourn when he is dead,
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
But will you, 'til I call him back, take care of him for me?"
"He'll bring his charms to gladden you, but should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn."
"I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again?"
I fancied that I heard them say: "Dear Lord, Thy will be done!
For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness; we'll love him while we may,
And for happiness we've known forever grateful stay."
"But should the angels call for him much sooner than we'd planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand."

Submitted by Karen Quandt

[April 14, 2009 mem]


Through The Mist Of Time

When you allow the pain to ease
And let go of the grief
Then you will be able
To feel my peace
Through the Mist of Time.
When you release your wanting and wishing
For things that might have been, should have been
Then you will be able
To hear my voice
Through the Mist of Time.
When you realise the loving part you had to play
In setting my Soul free
Then you will be able
To see, I am always here
Through the Mist of Time.

Submitted by Susan Green

 

[April 6, 2009 mem]


Hello Everyone,
I wanted to share this poem with all of the Niemann Pick families that have lost a child over the years. My daughter Riley had a very special friend who was her aid. Talona lost Riley and both of her parents within 5 months. Yet she sent this to me with a photo of her parents and Riley on the top of the page...

 

"WE'RE SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS THIS YEAR"

We see the countless Christmas trees around the world below.
With tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear; For we're
spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
We hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
We have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.
We know how much you miss us, we see the pain inside your heart.
But we're not so far away, we really aren't apart.
We cannot tell you of the splendor or the peace inside this place Can
you imagine Christmas with our Savior, face to face?
We will ask him to light your spirit as we tell him of your love.
So then pray for one another as you lift your eyes above.
So be happy for us, dear ones, you know we hold you dear.
And be glad we're spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
We sent you each a special gift, from our heavenly home above.
We sent you each a memory of our undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as our Father said to do.
For we can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember, we're spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

MAY EACH FAMILY HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS...
Paula Corbitt (mom to Riley NPC)

[Dec 30, 2008 mem]


LOVE AND GO ON

You can shed tears that they have gone
Or you can smile because they have lived.
You can close your eyes and pray they'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that they've left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see them
Or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live for yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember them and only that they've gone
Or you can cherish their memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what they'd want

Smile, open your eyes, love and go on


In Loving Memory of Luke Daniel Liegghio
by Enio Liegghio (Luke's Dad)

Do not cry for me as I am not here...
The sun is my smile,
The stars are my eyes,
The wind is my touch,
The rainbow is my endless love for you.
-- Luke

Luke Daniel Liegghio
Luke Liegghio, NPC
May 5, 1997 to June 10, 2005

[May 27, 2008]


In Loving Memory of Damon Eli Cardinal
Submitted by Elsa Hudson (Damon's Mom)

God saw you getting tired
When a cure was not to be,
So He put His arms around you,
And whispered "Come with Me."
A golden heart stopped beating
Your gentle hands at rest
God broke my heart and proved to me
He only takes the best!
In tears I saw you fading
I watched you drift away
My heart was almost broken
You fought so hard to stay.
But when I saw you sleeping
In peace and free from pain
I did not wish you back
To suffer that again.
So keep your arms around him, Lord
And give him special care
Make up for all the moments
When life seemed so unfair.
So many times I needed you
So many times I cried
If loving could have saved you
You would have never died.

Damon 1st Bday
Damon Cardinal, NPA
December 26, 2006 to April 16, 2008

[May 27, 2008]